Author Topic: I'm bored  (Read 2900 times)

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Online Babblelot

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #20 on: March 15, 2010, 08:56:46 PM »
pfft... I'm not going to read that crap! :cursing:

Man up! I want to hear what you're conflicted about.
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Offline sid

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #21 on: March 15, 2010, 09:00:01 PM »
pfft... I'm not going to read that crap! :cursing:

Man up! I want to hear what you're conflicted about.

popcorn you always get @ movies here,did you not like that me saying.

Online Babblelot

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #22 on: March 15, 2010, 09:01:26 PM »
pfft... I'm not going to read that crap! :cursing:

Man up! I want to hear what you're conflicted about.

popcorn you always get @ movies here,did you not like that me saying.

lol  I meant I'm not going to read through kingskid's blog
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Offline sid

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #23 on: March 15, 2010, 09:03:45 PM »
pfft... I'm not going to read that crap! :cursing:

Man up! I want to hear what you're conflicted about.

popcorn you always get @ movies here,did you not like that me saying.

lol  I meant I'm not going to read through kingskid's blog

LOL :rofl_2:

Offline kingskid

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #24 on: March 15, 2010, 09:35:21 PM »
No, what you said is you wanted me to share about myself so others could get to know me.  :))

And I'm not conflicted anymore.  :)~

I was having anger issues.  On the surface it just looked like a mom who had her hands full with three small children and a house to take care of, but once I really started mulling it over with Christ and journaling it out...I realized it was deeper than just being overwhelmed.  I was trying anecdotal things to make life easier, calmer, more organized, to look right, to feel right, etc, etc. but nothing was truly working b/c inside I wasn't dealing with my own heart.  The kids would wake up in a bad mood and I'd react to their behavior instead of dealing with what was going on in their hearts or staying calm enough to be civil and rational.  Instead I'd just go from situation to situation reacting and usually with gritted teeth and then murmuring under my breath.  Over a period of time this murmuring and gritting begins to wear a hole in one's heart and it becomes a habit.  I was not liking myself and how I was dealing with things, thinking about things.  So I took it to the Lord again and again, and began looking up Scriptures to see what He had to say about Anger.  And basically I got this picture of anger being a huge root in my life that needed to be torn out.  Now a month or so ago I'd have said that anger wasn't really a big problem for me.  I didn't troll around looking for fights or have HUGE explosions like my mom use to.  But what God showed me through praying, reading and journaling is that anger, no matter how big it is, is hurtful to ones self, it keeps you distant from God, distant from others and no matter how hard you try to keep it stifled, when it erupts, and it will, the magma can be brutal to those we love or respect.  And once I saw it that way I knew it wasn't what I wanted.  So, gently, he's showing me where I'm reacting in anger and each time I do it wrong it seems to resound inside my head and I feel the need to apologize or say out loud the truth about what's going on.  Like for instance, tonight.  I put Zman to bed and once the two little ones are down it's peaceful time.  He almost always has to get up once or twice more before it's all said and done and I know this.  But tonight I was standing here and I heard his "Mooooom?" and I felt my stomach tense up.  "Gosh, seriously!?  Why can't he just go to bed!?  Why can't it be easy!?" I grumbled and groaned out loud.  And as soon as I said it, I knew it was crap.  It was crap coming out of a selfish place in me that just wanted the kids stuff to be over for the day.  Uncool.  So I said out loud "now, that's not right.  He's actually really easy to put to bed.  Easier than most kids, I'd bet!" and all he wanted to do was go potty and he trotted right back to bed.  That could have easily gone another way had I not stopped myself and realized the truth about the situation.  Anger sucks.

Are you all  :ZZZZZ) :ZZZZZ) :ZZZZZ) now?

So...that's a slice of what I've been working on.  :)) 


Online Babblelot

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #25 on: March 15, 2010, 09:41:11 PM »
Quote
I was having anger issues.

Before I read any further...
Are you crappin' me? I know all about anger issues! :ranting:
She-AW, you couldn't have picked a better topic!!!  :rofl_2:  :rofl_2:


And interestingly, that's one of the reasons I cut out the caffine. I thought it only made things worse.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2010, 09:44:48 PM by Babblelot »
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Offline sid

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #26 on: March 15, 2010, 10:03:21 PM »
Quote
I was having anger issues.

Before I read any further...
Are you crappin' me? I know all about anger issues! :ranting:
She-AW, you couldn't have picked a better topic!!!  :rofl_2:  :rofl_2:


And interestingly, that's one of the reasons I cut out the caffine. I thought it only made things worse.

Made things worse,OK try this,just wait till the J/Witness knocks @ your door :rofl_2:

Online Babblelot

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #27 on: March 15, 2010, 10:06:43 PM »
Must be nice to read a couple of sentences then blame yourself. That wouldn't work for me, but, of course, I'm not dealing with dependents. Having said that, I think it's great that you have been checking your "mommy-anger". It's very commendable and more mothers should do the same.

I guess my mom was like yours, except my mom would have scared the crap out of your mom.  :scared:  And apparently, my grandfather was worse. Stereotypical southern Italians. I'm just like my mom and my grandfather. That's one reason I never wanted kids. Mean, angry people shouldn't be having children. My brother, on the other hand, is very much my opposite -- more calm like our father -- and has two kids.

More generally speaking, I like my anger because I trust my anger. What I don't like is wrath. My anger is right virtually every time. My meanstreak is almost always off.
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Offline sid

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #28 on: March 15, 2010, 10:22:42 PM »
My kids have now left home,but thay mean the world to me.Its not so easy bringing up kids,but i think mine have turned out OK.Thay know when to say please & thank you,so have manners.Being a mom is a full time job & its sure is hard work,but there is nothing in this world like family.

Online Babblelot

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #29 on: March 15, 2010, 10:25:41 PM »
My kids have now left home,but thay mean the world to me.Its not so easy bringing up kids,but i think mine have turned out OK.Thay know when to say please & thank you,so have manners.Being a mom is a full time job & its sure is hard work,but there is nothing in this world like family.

And all these years I thought sid was a swinging bachelor like me  ;-()
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Offline sid

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #30 on: March 15, 2010, 10:32:08 PM »
My kids have now left home,but thay mean the world to me.Its not so easy bringing up kids,but i think mine have turned out OK.Thay know when to say please & thank you,so have manners.Being a mom is a full time job & its sure is hard work,but there is nothing in this world like family.

And all these years I thought sid was a swinging bachelor like me  ;-()

No mate not me I'm afraid,2 years ago the last one left home.I'm pleased to say thay stand on their own 2 feet,well most of the time Bab.Now & then its Dad i want this still,your never have that Bab look on the bright side mate.

Online Babblelot

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #31 on: March 15, 2010, 10:39:04 PM »
My kids have now left home,but thay mean the world to me.Its not so easy bringing up kids,but i think mine have turned out OK.Thay know when to say please & thank you,so have manners.Being a mom is a full time job & its sure is hard work,but there is nothing in this world like family.

And all these years I thought sid was a swinging bachelor like me  ;-()

No mate not me I'm afraid,2 years ago the last one left home.I'm pleased to say thay stand on their own 2 feet,well most of the time Bab.Now & then its Dad i want this still,your never have that Bab look on the bright side mate.

It's much worse in the States because education is ungodly unaffordable here. It's more like, "Dad, I need $1200 to buy text books."
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Offline sid

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #32 on: March 15, 2010, 10:46:11 PM »
My kids have now left home,but thay mean the world to me.Its not so easy bringing up kids,but i think mine have turned out OK.Thay know when to say please & thank you,so have manners.Being a mom is a full time job & its sure is hard work,but there is nothing in this world like family.

And all these years I thought sid was a swinging bachelor like me  ;-()

No mate not me I'm afraid,2 years ago the last one left home.I'm pleased to say thay stand on their own 2 feet,well most of the time Bab.Now & then its Dad i want this still,your never have that Bab look on the bright side mate.

It's much worse in the States because education is ungodly unaffordable here. It's more like, "Dad, I need $1200 to buy text books."

Do thay have grants for education?you can get here,but you have 2 pay them back.

Online Babblelot

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #33 on: March 15, 2010, 10:53:15 PM »
My kids have now left home,but thay mean the world to me.Its not so easy bringing up kids,but i think mine have turned out OK.Thay know when to say please & thank you,so have manners.Being a mom is a full time job & its sure is hard work,but there is nothing in this world like family.

And all these years I thought sid was a swinging bachelor like me  ;-()

No mate not me I'm afraid,2 years ago the last one left home.I'm pleased to say thay stand on their own 2 feet,well most of the time Bab.Now & then its Dad i want this still,your never have that Bab look on the bright side mate.

It's much worse in the States because education is ungodly unaffordable here. It's more like, "Dad, I need $1200 to buy text books."

Do thay have grants for education?you can get here,but you have 2 pay them back.

OMG! We're nothing like you over here. Students leave college on average $26,000 in debt. To banks! Not long ago, it was $17,000. Soon, it will be $32,000. The Republicans cut out all Federal assistance except for the indigent. Now students are owned by banks, and you are unable to default on student loans.

There's so much money to be made in banking!!!!!
« Last Edit: March 15, 2010, 10:54:51 PM by Babblelot »
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Offline sid

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #34 on: March 15, 2010, 10:58:52 PM »
Around 400,000 outstanding student loans held by 20 and 30-somethings are shrinking. This is because, from 1 September 2009, the interest rate on these loans became negative - so you'll owe less next August than you do right now - and millions more have become interest free.

this is one link to look @ here bab.
http://www.studentfinance.direct.gov.uk/goodbye.html

Online Babblelot

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #35 on: March 15, 2010, 11:09:34 PM »
Yeah, and this is what was going on over here 10 days ago...

Quote

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) Students and faculty at California's public universities rallied across the state on Thursday to protest steep fee hikes they say have damaged a system of higher education long the envy of the nation.

More than 100 such events in more than 30 states were scheduled for a "Day of Action" in support of public education, prompted by tuition hikes and program cuts that reflect financial problems affecting nearly every U.S. state.




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Offline sid

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #36 on: March 15, 2010, 11:19:23 PM »
Yeah, and this is what was going on over here 10 days ago...

Quote

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) Students and faculty at California's public universities rallied across the state on Thursday to protest steep fee hikes they say have damaged a system of higher education long the envy of the nation.

More than 100 such events in more than 30 states were scheduled for a "Day of Action" in support of public education, prompted by tuition hikes and program cuts that reflect financial problems affecting nearly every U.S. state.






Wow dont seem good their bab,hope things get sorted out for the better soon mate.

Offline pawan89

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #37 on: March 15, 2010, 11:20:10 PM »
I read your blog kingskid. Nice reading it. Leave it to Babs to spice things up here. You should have just labeled the thread "Federer is Bored" and Bab would have left it alone  :rofl_2:  :rofl_2:

Its good to hear your spiritual story too.  I am glad for you. Somewhat on a related note, but not quite, a friend of mine got into a car crash (t-boned by a big truck and she was in a civic type car) and .. well it was a long road to recovery - her memory and sight were also gone, forget about the physical damage. But she was forced by some friend to go to a church group meeting or camp or something like that which she never would have, but once there she found that she could actually read the bible (her eyes couldn't focus and read until then) and then she started remembering stuff and for a while the bible was the only thing she could read. So yeah. She's very much into God and .. well you get the picture. It's very interesting.

As far as sleeping goes from my side.. what can you do. college forces some changes onto you. but you know, now i can no longer wake up to alarms. my friend calls me 15-25 times in the morning to no avail. and then i wake up. its just impossible for me to wake up. but yeah i can sleep for days on end, my theory is that i am so sleep deprived, i'd neeed to sleep a LOT (12+ hours easily) for a couple months to get back to normal.
Oh and you know what else? Caffeine doesn't do ANYTHING to me. I don't drink coffee or tea except for the rare 'let's meet up and get a coffee" thing. This sucks at times.


Offline kingskid

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #38 on: March 16, 2010, 07:52:39 AM »
Pawan - that doesn't sound good.  If you were a family member I'd be all over your crap about going to a doctor.  I say that with love, of course.  I stayed up late, slept in a lot and took hefty naps while in college (*deep sigh*  I do miss my two hour naps.) and Scott pulled many all-nighters in the studio, but sleeping that many days in a row for such long hours seems insane.  Of course, now that I say that, I think of my mom who can't sleep more than 3-4 hours in a 24 hour period and has been that way all her life. SO I guess it could be your normal, but I'd definitely consider bringing it up to a doctor when you get in there next.  How do you play tennis when you are that sleepy?  And what are you in school for? Just pure curiosity there.  :)

And I've heard so many stories about how God heals people supernaturally and he's also increasing my faith in this area too.

Babs, thanks for not being a jerk.   :))  I forgive my mom for all the crap she exploded on us but it took a long time.  Actually, it took me becoming a parent and realizing just how hard it must have been for her to raise three kids all by herself.  Now I just feel so sorry for her when she gets into these situations (and there is ALWAYS a situation) and anger controls her. Sometimes the stuff that comes out of her mouth...aye, aye, aye.  And it's your mom, for Pete's Sake!  It's hard to correct a parent, or at least it is when she's so hard headed and dominant.  :scared:  All this woman has to do is raise her voice at me and something inside cowers.  I don't want my kids to feel like that, but rather have a healthy respectful fear until they are grown and we can move on to being more like friends. 


Offline kingskid

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Re: I'm bored
« Reply #39 on: March 16, 2010, 09:15:27 AM »
And since I've already opened this can of worms I'll just share a note that is in my studies here.  I was reading in Matthew 5 and there was a note that stood out for me about having "self control." 

Quote
Killing is a terrible sin, but uncontrolled anger is a sin, too. Anger in this case (referring to Matthew 5:21) refers to seething, brooding bitterness against someone.  It is a dangerous emotion that always threatens to leap out of control, leading to violence, emotional hurt, increased mental stress, and spiritual damage.  Anger keeps us from developing a spirit pleasing to God.  Have you ever been proud that you didn't strike out and say what was really on your mind?  Self-control is good, but Christ wants us to practice thought-control as well.  Jesus said that we will be held accountable even for our thoughts.

So this convicted me.  In my situation it looked like an inability to control my surroundings and the people in it...and that was true for a period, but then we gained control and discipline around the home.  What remained was that resentment and brooding, that old habitual reaction to misbehavior and the children fighting AND my desperate need to flee the chaos.  Even though there wasn't chaos anymore, if I felt a twinge of that atmosphere (the kids screaming, bickering, the older one blatantly disrespecting/mouthing off) then I'd revert back to the heart reaction that hadn't been healed.  SO...this one section of study helped me to see that (especially with my kids, but also in every other area of my life) brooding, murmuring anger needs resolved quickly and I do need to hold each thought captive and nip it in the bud before it gets worse.  Still working on this obviously!