Topic: Why are men so angry?

[Babblelot]

It's good you men think that way. Too bad the boys of my generation expect me to do all the work.

I'm not into gender roles at all, but that was never a problem for me, because I'm way too aggressive to wait around. But I really appreciate your candor because it does validate what I saw.
 

[Emma]

This is a quick visit. Babb is just not leaving me alone!
 
Will stop by later I promise. 

[Babblelot]

This is a quick visit. Babb is just not leaving me alone!
 
Will stop by later I promise.

hahaha

[monstertruck]

This is a quick visit. Babb is just not leaving me alone!
 
Will stop by later I promise.

[FedFanForever]

What a stupid, moronic thread! 

[Emma]

That article only talks about American women though so I am not sure what Chris is b**ching about unless the Brits are just the same? I guess so.   
 
I don't suppose the Asian men feel the same way especially the South Asian men? May be Pawan can confirm? Unless of course those men also brought up abroad; then they are more than likely to feel the same way. I think there are still a lot of men out there who love to control the relationship.
 
But I think the real question is, what if, you men, had a lot of money? How would you go on about a relationship? Would you care this much then? Or are we likely to see a different you?
 
I also think it's fair to say that, men control the relationship at the beginning but once committed, the women take over; hence the reason why men don't want to commit so easily or at all.
 
For example, in this article, men talk about women taking charge of the relationship and perhaps making the calls. Now would men really want that? I think not. I guess they'll be pretty happy with women paying their side of the bill or even pay the whole bill but when it comes to calling or asking someone out, men still want to control that part of the territory. In any case and it beats me, why can't they just ask the women to share the bills as well or even take charge in the bedroom? Ask and you shall receive, no?
 
But the problem isn't there though. It's the mindset we have that was actually initiated by men thousands and thousands of years ago, when men love to be the hunters and women loved to be chased. I guess it's still very attractive to women when men take charge of everything in case of romance.
 
And it is also true that men are less responsible these days than they ever were. I mean the last line of that article literally suggests that and it's quite true to many extents. Things have changed for women too and that article only suggests only one aspect of the "relationship". It doesn't talk about women who are taking many responsibilities these days including having a 9 to 5 job, raising kids, taking care of the house and not to mention, the husbands who are less trustworthy these days.
 
Okay, so now I think Babbs won't like this but I am trying to be objective here. It does take two to tango after all, no? 
 
 

[Emma]

Interesting topic. I'll share my thoughts. sometime.

This is such a classic Pawan. "I'll share my thoughts. sometime." ho hum. Like he's President Obama or something - must make a grand entry first.

Oh how some things never change. 

Btw pawan, I totally hate your avi. I know you think he looks cool or something but he doesn't.

[Emma]

Aha.
 
Anyway, mind you, a relationship or marriage doesn't happen until or unless the guy says yes. So it's only fair if the women dictate the relationship once the relationship/marriage takes place.
 
There are countless of frustrated women who are getting dodged by men, none other. There's even a book called, He Is Just Not That Into You - just to give these poor women a clue. You know very well you want to toy with these women because you are almost never sure if you are dating the right person or marrying the right girl. Chances are, you are probably not even dating those women to have a relationship or get married to begin with. lol. So who really cares if men are angry when it's never about whose got hand on whose money when the main intention is just to get laid and have some fun on the side. Tell me, why do WE have to wait for YOUR calls or for YOU to propose us? If I call, will you answer? Will you marry me if I propose you? And who are you? Basically a nobody just like me. So you why do you act as if you’re the next best thing since Jesus and we have to wait for your mercy? hahahaha. Right. Come on. Such rubbish.
 
And if women indeed take charge of the romance as well, then what will YOU be good for? What will YOU be left with if WE are going to do everything including paying for our own food, taking charge in sex (as if, please. When was the last time you actually pleased someone without making it all about you? lol. Come on, kid me not), giving birth to children, cooking, taking care of the house, having a 9 to 5 job and countless other things. Would you be kind enough to give me a list of things you'd be in charge of? In fact, it's women who should be angry now. Let's open another thread and call it, "Women are Angry and Rightfully so". Damn it!
 

[foaquin]

Aha.
 
. Would you be kind enough to give me a list of things you'd be in charge of? In fact, it's women who should be angry now. Let's open another thread and call it, "Women are Angry and Rightfully so". Damn it!
 

Watching sports.
Drinking beer.
Giving ordes.
  (JK)

[Babblelot]

I also think it's fair to say that, men control the relationship at the beginning but once committed, the women take over; hence the reason why men don't want to commit so easily or at all.
 

Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this    but that reads like a term paper. You really broke it down nicely. This part I like most. I see my married friends have lost heart. They gave up their life a long time ago. They can't make decisions for themselves. The can't do anything without permission. All of my married friends are like this. ALL (period)

And I'm not so certain women aren't in control from the start, either. After all, the man is doing the "courting." That, in itself, shows control, and men ain't gots it. I think in general, this may be the case. However, I'm going to contradict myself now  because I do control relationships, even from the start. I insist on control. Total control freak.  s**t falls apart when she wants to start controlling things. And it's very true, as you say and my friends prove, women want control eventually.
 

[Babblelot]

Aha.
 
. Would you be kind enough to give me a list of things you'd be in charge of? In fact, it's women who should be angry now. Let's open another thread and call it, "Women are Angry and Rightfully so". Damn it!
 

Watching sports.
Drinking beer.
Giving ordes.
  (JK)

foqauin! You have to give more than that. You've got plenty to say. How will I ever find out if you continue to say nothing

[monstertruck]

I also think it's fair to say that, men control the relationship at the beginning but once committed, the women take over; hence the reason why men don't want to commit so easily or at all.
 

Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this    but that reads like a term paper. You really broke it down nicely. This part I like most. I see my married friends have lost heart. They gave up their life a long time ago. They can't make decisions for themselves. The can't do anything without permission. All of my married friends are like this. ALL (period)And I'm not so certain women aren't in control from the start, either. After all, the man is doing the "courting." That, in itself, shows control, and men ain't gots it. I think in general, this may be the case. However, I'm going to contradict myself now  because I do control relationships, even from the start. I insist on control. Total control freak.  s**t falls apart when she wants to start controlling things. And it's very true, as you say and my friends prove, women want control eventually.
 

Marriage is a blending of lives to form a new life, together.
Some voluntary sacrifice must occur in order to create the time and space for this 'new life'.  When couples choose to have children, the time and energy available for the 'old life' dwindle even further.  I think the key to a successful relationship is to find a partner that complements your life view.  If you're a 'taker' then you best hook up with a 'giver'.

All that being said, every woman, in every relationship I've ever had has attempted to control me/the relationship.  I often wonder if it's an instinctual form of 'mothering'.  Add one letter and you've got SMOTHERING.

Things are great now but it was a long hard road for this cowboy.

[Babblelot]

I also think it's fair to say that, men control the relationship at the beginning but once committed, the women take over; hence the reason why men don't want to commit so easily or at all.
 

Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this    but that reads like a term paper. You really broke it down nicely. This part I like most. I see my married friends have lost heart. They gave up their life a long time ago. They can't make decisions for themselves. The can't do anything without permission. All of my married friends are like this. ALL (period)And I'm not so certain women aren't in control from the start, either. After all, the man is doing the "courting." That, in itself, shows control, and men ain't gots it. I think in general, this may be the case. However, I'm going to contradict myself now  because I do control relationships, even from the start. I insist on control. Total control freak.  s**t falls apart when she wants to start controlling things. And it's very true, as you say and my friends prove, women want control eventually.
 

Marriage is a blending of lives to form a new life, together.
Some voluntary sacrifice must occur in order to create the time and space for this 'new life'.  When couples choose to have children, the time and energy available for the 'old life' dwindle even further.  I think the key to a successful relationship is to find a partner that complements your life view.  If you're a 'taker' then you best hook up with a 'giver'.

All that being said, every woman, in every relationship I've ever had has attempted to control me/the relationship.  I often wonder if it's an instinctual form of 'mothering'.  Add one letter and you've got SMOTHERING.

Things are great now but it was a long hard road for this cowboy.

I see the need for sacrifice, but I'm talking surrender. That's what I see in each of my married mates. They just quit trying. One guy has been telling me for years that we have to get together. It's been over three years now since I last saw him. My response each time is, "Let's do it. Where and when?" I won't here from him for a long while thereafter. Like I said, it's been years since I've seen him.

[BGT]

Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to lose your own identity and individuality. I always hear as a piece of advice that I need to maintain my own hobbies and life outside of my husband and marriage. Two un-whole people cannot come together and form a healthy relationship. You must be happy and whole yourself.

[Babblelot]

Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to lose your own identity and individuality. I always hear as a piece of advice that I need to maintain my own hobbies and life outside of my husband and marriage. Two un-whole people cannot come together and form a healthy relationship. You must be happy and whole yourself.

Dial a cliche. Do people really live their lives based on cliche's? What you're told and what you do are often at odds with each other. So you've been told...

[foaquin]

foqauin! You have to give more than that. You've got plenty to say. How will I ever find out if you continue to say nothing

Find out  what?

[Babblelot]

foqauin! You have to give more than that. You've got plenty to say. How will I ever find out if you continue to say nothing

Find out  what?

    Well, I guess that says it all.

[foaquin]

foqauin! You have to give more than that. You've got plenty to say. How will I ever find out if you continue to say nothing

Find out  what?

    Well, I guess that says it all.

I have absolutely no idea what u r talking about.

[Emma]

As it turns out, most women are control freaks (a whopping 90% of them. I am not sure how true that is though). But I think we need to go a bit deeper than this and find out exactly what makes people control freaks.
 
Here's something I read on the Internet that talks about control freaks in general:
 
“Certainly, it’s natural to want to be in control of your life. But when you have to be in control of the people around you as well, when you literally can’t rest until you get your way … you have a personality disorder. While it’s not a diagnostic category found in the DSM IV (the therapist’s bible for diagnostic purposes) an exaggerated emphasis on control is part of a cluster of behaviors that can be labeled as compulsive generally characterized by perfectionism, orderliness, workaholic tendencies, an inability to make commitments or to trust others and a fear of having their flaws exposed. Deep down, these people are terrified of being vulnerable. They believe they can protect themselves by staying in control of every aspect of their lives, including their relationships. Control freaks take the need and urge to control to new heights, causing others stress so they can maintain a sense of order. These people are riddled with anxiety, fear, insecurity, and anger. They’re very critical of themselves their lover and their friends, but underneath that perfect outfit and great body is a mountain of unhappiness. Let’s look at what makes control freaks tick, what makes you want to explode, and some ways to deal with them."

Babbs, do you recognize yourself in there by any chance? 

Seriously, I think Monster sums it up pretty well. While they complete each other in some ways more than so two men or women completing each other, both men and women are very different from each other by nature, so to put them together to create a new life is most definitely a very big challenging task itself - especially in this day and age. Even two heteros, best of buddies, will find it very difficult to live together for a long time despite having everything in common. But still, it’s best to find some common grounds before you both commit.

A relationship only works when you are with a person for a considerable time because that's the amount of time that takes to really know a person. It's going to be long bumpy road regardless with the controlling power shifting either way.

I feel sorry for your friends though, Babbs but that's still their side of the story, right? In any case, if you truly love your freedom and want to have your life back, then just get out of that marriage.
 

[Emma]

foqauin! You have to give more than that. You've got plenty to say. How will I ever find out if you continue to say nothing

Find out  what?

    Well, I guess that says it all.

I have absolutely no idea what u r talking about.

He just wanted you to contribute more, that's all.