As it turns out, most women are control freaks (a whopping 90% of them. I am not sure how true that is though). But I think we need to go a bit deeper than this and find out exactly what makes people control freaks.
Here's something I read on the Internet that talks about control freaks in general:
ďCertainly, itís natural to want to be in control of your life. But when you have to be in control of the people around you as well, when you literally canít rest until you get your way Ö you have a personality disorder. While itís not a diagnostic category found in the DSM IV (the therapistís bible for diagnostic purposes) an exaggerated emphasis on control is part of a cluster of behaviors that can be labeled as compulsive generally characterized by perfectionism, orderliness, workaholic tendencies, an inability to make commitments or to trust others and a fear of having their flaws exposed. Deep down, these people are terrified of being vulnerable. They believe they can protect themselves by staying in control of every aspect of their lives, including their relationships. Control freaks take the need and urge to control to new heights, causing others stress so they can maintain a sense of order. These people are riddled with anxiety, fear, insecurity, and anger. Theyíre very critical of themselves their lover and their friends, but underneath that perfect outfit and great body is a mountain of unhappiness. Letís look at what makes control freaks tick, what makes you want to explode, and some ways to deal with them."
Babbs, do you recognize yourself in there by any chance?
Seriously, I think Monster sums it up pretty well. While they complete each other in some ways more than so two men or women completing each other, both men and women are very different from each other by nature, so to put them together to create a new life is most definitely a very big challenging task itself - especially in this day and age. Even two heteros, best of buddies, will find it very difficult to live together for a long time despite having everything in common. But still, itís best to find some common grounds before you both commit.
A relationship only works when you are with a person for a considerable time because that's the amount of time that takes to really know a person. It's going to be long bumpy road regardless with the controlling power shifting either way.
I feel sorry for your friends though, Babbs but that's still their side of the story, right? In any case, if you truly love your freedom and want to have your life back, then just get out of that marriage.