Mixed Doubles and Couple Trouble
by: Dave Winship @ On The Line

Good relationships are nourished and sustained by the cultivation of shared interests and shared experiences. There's no reason at all why involvement in a sport should be excluded from this. And yet I feel curiously uneasy when I'm asked if I fully endorse the idea of playing mixed doubles with a spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend.

Whether the experience is an enjoyable one or an anxiety-filled one is largely determined by the competitiveness of the tennis. If the outcome of the match is of little significance to both of you, there's no problem. You should be able to relax and have some fun out there. But serious competition ups the ante and introduces psychological dynamics that can be difficult to handle.

In normal circumstances, good players can aspire to control their physiological and psychological arousal levels when they compete, but the techniques involved can be as much use as a chocolate teapot when you throw the emotional sensitivities of a relationship into the mix. Then things can get kind of volatile.

Friends of ours will attest that my wife and I have succumbed to these pressures like most couples. I shamefully confess that I have contributed my fair share of the doleful expressions and dark mutterings that so often typify these ill-advised arrangements! And I therefore subscribe to the unwritten law which states that husbands and wives should not partner each other in competition unless they first undertake - in writing - never to give or take offence, or bicker, or sulk, etc, etc.

Yes, by all means join the same club as your spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend. Play at the same tournaments. Be on the same teams. Your relationship can thrive on the camaraderie that a sport like tennis can offer, but, unless you're two of those rare souls who can always smile through any amount of tension, DON'T PLAY ON THE SAME COURT!

Regards.

Dave Winship